Sunday, January 29, 2012

Secrets of my marriage

Marriage is really a beautiful thing. 
It tries your heart and head and pushes you far. 
Well, at least it does for me. 
Daddy and J long boarding at the park
I have had a few conversations this week that go something like this:
misc persons: "I just admire your relationship."
 "You two are so good about doing things together" 
"I love that you put your marriage as a priority."
 " I told my husband he should have married someone like you because you are always doing cut things for your husband"
"You two get along so well! I wish we were more like that!"
"I've noticed that you two do a lot of things on your own. I want that too!"
...etc, etc, etc

But let me tell you a secret. Its hard. Although, it is pretty easy too. Especially with places online to help. Most things I do are "click and print" from other really dedicated wives. Sometimes I need to give myself pep-talks. Like when I decide to embark on the 12 lays of Christmas . Or when birthdays come along and for 7 days I give gifts of love or time etc. But do I feel guilty that sometimes I have to "talk myself into it?" Nope. I think it is a natural thing. And with the more ladies that come and talk to me about their marriages and books that I read, it enforces this thought.

I have been fortunate enough to be asked to contribute to as a guest blogger to the Dating Divas.  I also have a separate blog of mine where I keep ideas that I have actually done. Or want to do... and then came Pinterest. So mostly ideas go there now. And that really has helped me so much! So I figure I can do something once a week. A date. A note. A little unexpected passion-play. Or just making his favorite dinner. 

My marriage is so important to me. These last (almost) 5 years has taught me so much. Actually, I remember thinking a few months after I got married that I made a big mistake. Now keep in mind I was
 1-newly married.
 2-pregnant
 3-moved into a house in a state and city I had never been to before. 
4-had no other friends. 
5-hubby had been traveling for work a lot. 
6-couldn't find a job
7-had a lot of red tape w my transferring credits etc for school

I know. A lot to deal with and for some reason I thought it was because I made a mistake and God was punishing me. Hello! What was I thinking!!! I am actually really embarrassed to even think about those early months. 

But he was ever patient. He was kind. Soft-spoken. And after a few days and some really good cries and gallons of ice cream, I was blissfully happy again. But I mention it only because it taught me a few things. I learned that life is life. It is what it is. And I made a choice. I feel blessed because of my choice but now when it gets hard and I get mad as a bee, I remember that I made this choice and I want my marriage to be admired. To be thought of. To be treasured. Not by the world. But by me and my husband. 

In 30 years when we are old and grey hopefully serving missions together, I want to be that "cute old couple" people smile at and strive to be. But I also know that it does not happen overnight. So we both have our own hobbies that we do individuality or try to teach each other about and thankfully one of those hobbies is us. (i know, mushy-gooey-post)

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