Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Re-inventing me as mom

Have you seen this? My friend recently posted a link to Mrs. Staffords blog. For whatever reason, I was captivated. I was completely lost in reading post after post. Maybe it was a combination of my recent musings or the fact that I feel utterly incapable of being a really good mama a lot of the time.

Its been two weeks since I first stumbled across it and in that weeks time, I have used a few of her "tactics".

-Take 6 seconds... to respond, to give a hug, to give a kiss...
-Avoid saying hurry up
- See my children as they REALLY are
-Take time to play with them

There are a lot more ideas but those are the ones that really stick.

Especially the 6 seconds one. (scroll to the bottom of the post)

I have twin baby girls. I have a 2.5 year old BOY. And a 6 year old girl. My son is 100% all boy. He loves to run, be dirty, play with worms and bugs. He loves trucks, trains, legos and teasing his older sister. He is rambunctious and such a soft-hearted little boy. He loves to lay with me in bed and sit on my lap and read a book and be sung to at night. He is really hard a lot of the time. He just has SO much energy and wants to help me with EVERYTHING that, more often than not, I am frustrated with him "helping". Isn't that awful for me to admit??!!

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This week I also met with my friend and fellow homeschool mom. She has 8 kids and, I swear, never raises her voice. I am not kidding. I was picking up some curricula books she had for me and was simultaneously trying to prevent my kids from destroying her brand spankin' new house.

Picture me---- trying to look at this curriculum holding one baby while my friend holds the other baby and my son is literally unlocking the front door and running outside. A little part of me gave up. He always came back, was in no danger and, for the moment, I really needed to hurry and get this done so we could all go. I was thankful he was not breaking anything and just didn't really care that he was ignoring my demands to stay inside.

We (I say we because it really took both of us) finally got him to come in and play. Then she said to me "would you be interested in a parenting class" Normally I am not. I have read everything there is and, as evidenced by my drawer filled with charts and bribes and quotes and.... well, lets just say that nothing really worked.

Nothing except Strike 1, 2, 3 approach. (similar to the 1-2-3-Magic)

But I was still struggling.

I was counting to 6.... A LOT.

My friend told me to try putting down the baby and showing him that I would enforce rules regardless of how "busy" I was. I thought "you have no idea, do you?" Oh, mother of 8, yes you do! I actually dismissed the idea but it really stuck with me. So I gave it a try.

IT WORKED! After ONE DAY it was working. Usually it takes weeks and weeks for something to stick (like my basic standard for school--more on that later). But this, this stuck after one glorious day and has been an amazing tool ever since.

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I have been SO BLESSED to have a friend help me out on Thursdays. I would be utterly lost without her. I used to use that time to grocery shop. Now, I use that time to nap or take one of the kids on a mommy-date. Like this one



I go to the gym and take classes. I LOVE my classes. Some people use shopping, cleaning, or crafting as an outlet. I never used to be like this, but exercise has become my outlet. I really love working out with my friend and meeting new ones. So, I guess, its not really the exercise as it is the people.

I watch tv. I'll admit that. There are a few shows that we watch as a couple. And boy, oh, boy, do I ever look forward to it. They are clean. They don't require any thought. Its nice to shut off my brain for a bit.

I've gotten back into photography. So happy, right?!  On a sad note, I have completely lost my memory card with the baby pictures on it. But, thankfully, I have some on IG. One thing I have loved is the post process part of it all. I am currently enjoying making our photo books via Shutterfly and blog books and Instagram books via Blurb.

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Happiness isn't a destination, it is a state of mind.

2 comments:

Cassidy and Daniel Stephens said...

I love that blog too!! It's a good reminder! I'm always impressed with you and how well you hold it together! And you're always doing something fun! Thanks for always wanting to help me when you have so much on your plate already

Marcia Hansen said...

I think you are the one that has a very quiet voice and is so calm with your kids. I've always been impressed by how good of a mom you are.

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